In my neighbourhood, there’s a truck that has a decal on its rear window that says, “Ram the daughter, Dodge the father.” Does anyone else find this super gross?
First, why is a father determining who his daughter has sex with? Is he following her? Checking the texts on her phone? Reading her diary?
Second, why doesn’t the decal say, “Ram the son. Dodge the father.”? Or for that matter, why not “Ram the daughter. Dodge the mother.”? Why is it only the daughter who needs protecting, and why is it the father who does the protecting?
Finally, why is this need for protection underscored by a threat of violence? Like, this father is so caught up in preserving his daughter’s chastity that he needs to threaten with violence someone she had sex with (probably willingly)?
This sort of trope is patriarchy wrapped up in a package and tied up with a bow. It perpetuates the idea that women and girls are property; owned by their fathers until the father gives them away to a husband at the wedding altar.
If you ever wanted to know what people are talking about when they mention “toxic masculinity’, this is it. Expressing domination over other males while you protect females is one of the most primal, animalistic instances of human behaviour. It’s messed up enough when you’re trying to protect your partner or spouse from other males, but doing the same thing for your daughter is seriously creepy.
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